how to grow up
In two weeks, I will be a college graduate. I've been looking forward to this time for my entire life, and now I'm finding that the ever famous "real world" is looming ominously on the other side of May 12.
When I was in first grade, I remember thinking that the fourth graders were so cool. They were the big kids and could do all of the things that I could only dream of as a first grader. I later became a fourth grader, and frankly, it was okay, but not what it had seemed to be three years prior. In fourth grade, I looked forward to the freedoms of seventh grade. Having a locker and switching rooms between classes seemed very exciting and I couldn't wait. Junior high came and went, followed by high school. I remember looking forward to my senior year and college afterward. And when college came, it felt good, but I stopped looking to the future.
I chose a major, and it was really hard to choose a field that I thought I would be satisfied with for a long time--like forty years. At twenty, three years is a long time; forty is almost unimaginable. I chose writing because it seemed almost generic. With writing on my resume, I can do almost anything. Maybe that's how it is with most majors.
When I graduated from high school, it was a big production. I graduated from a small public school in North Dakota with fifteen of my friends. I had an open house following where all of my teachers, family and friends came to congratulate me on my achievements. I felt like I had accomplished something. That doesn't happen for college graduates. We can choose whether or not we want to participate in commencement, and even if we do, it basically ends there. A few family members congratulate you, and then it's over.
It seems to me that college graduation is underrated. I chose to go to college, and I managed to get a degree in four years. I feel like this should be congratulated. Instead, I hear people around me asking what's next. For the first time in my life, I don't know the answer to that question. I don't know what I'll be doing at the end of the summer.
I don't even know how to figure it out, because I've been doing the same thing, essentially, for the past seventeen years. I've been going to school. I've had Christmas break, and spring break, and freedom during the summer. I know how to go to school, and I know how to get good grades. I know how to work hard and achieve things, but it seems that there ought to be some sort of transition from college student to adult.
I'm creating my own. Instead of finding a "real" job right away, I'm going to work at the retail management job that I've had for the past year. I'll have one last summer of irresponsibility before I take on a contract and benefits and a car payment. I will attend weddings instead of planning them. I will save some money, but I'll still spend it. I don't really have anything specifically to look forward to anymore. I'll spend another summer living in the present, and then I'll make a plan. I think I know how to grow up...I just don't want to, yet.
When I was in first grade, I remember thinking that the fourth graders were so cool. They were the big kids and could do all of the things that I could only dream of as a first grader. I later became a fourth grader, and frankly, it was okay, but not what it had seemed to be three years prior. In fourth grade, I looked forward to the freedoms of seventh grade. Having a locker and switching rooms between classes seemed very exciting and I couldn't wait. Junior high came and went, followed by high school. I remember looking forward to my senior year and college afterward. And when college came, it felt good, but I stopped looking to the future.
I chose a major, and it was really hard to choose a field that I thought I would be satisfied with for a long time--like forty years. At twenty, three years is a long time; forty is almost unimaginable. I chose writing because it seemed almost generic. With writing on my resume, I can do almost anything. Maybe that's how it is with most majors.
When I graduated from high school, it was a big production. I graduated from a small public school in North Dakota with fifteen of my friends. I had an open house following where all of my teachers, family and friends came to congratulate me on my achievements. I felt like I had accomplished something. That doesn't happen for college graduates. We can choose whether or not we want to participate in commencement, and even if we do, it basically ends there. A few family members congratulate you, and then it's over.
It seems to me that college graduation is underrated. I chose to go to college, and I managed to get a degree in four years. I feel like this should be congratulated. Instead, I hear people around me asking what's next. For the first time in my life, I don't know the answer to that question. I don't know what I'll be doing at the end of the summer.
I don't even know how to figure it out, because I've been doing the same thing, essentially, for the past seventeen years. I've been going to school. I've had Christmas break, and spring break, and freedom during the summer. I know how to go to school, and I know how to get good grades. I know how to work hard and achieve things, but it seems that there ought to be some sort of transition from college student to adult.
I'm creating my own. Instead of finding a "real" job right away, I'm going to work at the retail management job that I've had for the past year. I'll have one last summer of irresponsibility before I take on a contract and benefits and a car payment. I will attend weddings instead of planning them. I will save some money, but I'll still spend it. I don't really have anything specifically to look forward to anymore. I'll spend another summer living in the present, and then I'll make a plan. I think I know how to grow up...I just don't want to, yet.
posted by mur at 3:09 PM
2 Comments:
ALWAYS live in the present my friend, preferrably in a warm climate.
Sounds like a good plan. Believe me, when I say...I'm 63 and STILL wondering what I'll be when I grow up!!!!
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