i hate tuesday.

I ended up writing down names and id numbers for an extra two hours yesterday, because I'm nice, and I didn't have class. It's annoying when sacrifices like that go unnoticed. Last night V and I played Martha Stewart with Cole and Spencer. It's Cole's girlfriend's birthday today, so we baked her a cake, and we baked brownies for ourselves to be consumed after the ziploc bag omelets we made. It was a midnight feast. Then we pretended we could stay awake through one episode of Family Guy, but after three minutes, I just went to bed. I'm a weenie. Now my eyes are burning and watering.

I have to go to work, but the student tickets for the hockey game are GONE until the door. That's fantastic.

there are currently 12 people in line for hockey tickets. we don't even have the stupid computer yet. go home. go downstairs. we'll save twelve for you. i feel like i'm being watched and i have to keep typing and searching through things to keep up the appearance that i actually work at this job--i don't. this is my $120 check every two weeks with which i buy unreasonable things like perkins at 2am. anyway, i hate huntsville.

and the weekend's over just like that...

well, i've worked like 39049 hours since i last posted. since my computer doesn't exactly work at home, i have a bad habit of not posting over weekends. mostly i'm so exhausted when i get home from work that i just don't care to make the effort. this will change. i swear. i have thursday through sunday off this week. beautiful. i think i'll even sleep in--something i haven't done in like a month and a half. i'm excited.

i forgot to mention...

my favorite night has been taken from me. i've been called in to work--or i might not have to...i'm hoping julie calls soon. we'll see.

hawaii or bust.

mandei and i are talking about moving to hawaii in the fall. i like this idea. one last summer here in midj followed by another summer (aka. winter here) in hawaii. we can rent a studio apartment and get jobs and later move into a bigger apartment. start our own smoothie stand...the possibilities are endless. most importantly, we'll never have to wear socks and shoes again. just flip flops.

midterm #1 completed.

I'm returning to my can-do attitude of Monday. I still have a lot to do, but I just lucked out completely on my Canadian politics exam. I had the choice between the two essays I actually knew, and I knew five of the six identifications, but only had to write on four. Dare I say I might get an A??

I have my conference with Susan this afternoon and I just remembered that I'm meeting with Leslie about Honors at 11...glad I just remembered that. Nothing super important for tomorrow, so I guess I can relax a little. I have a midterm in my film class next Tuesday, so I should probably rent the movies I've missed this weekend. Full Monty anyone?

Snowboarding tomorrow. First time in three weeks. I'm pumped.

i just rocked my freelance writing folder. on to canadian politics...but i'm going to go home for that. get ready for work, figure out essay 2, and then cole and i will memorize everything tonight.

want to learn about gst and trudeau and the meech lake accords? me too.

more homework...

I have to work some more on my freelance writing folder, so I can hand it in to Susan this afternoon. We're going to have the feel-better conference tomorrow, instead of the wow-you-get-this conference we were supposed to have. I need someone to make me do my homework. A homework drill sargent that threatens to make me stay home on Thursday nights or take away my money or something.

I also need to finalize my grad plans and turn them in. I'll do that tomorrow afternoon, because I'll have lots of time then. Oh, and I have an exam in Canadian Politics tomorrow, so Cole is coming over when I get off work, so we can study up on maple leaves and Strange Brew. I keep finding that I just don't care that much. I don't care if I get straight C's this semester, because I'll still graduate. I actually only need one credit to graduate. But, whatever. It's almost over, and I'm more scared of what happens next, so I'll just have to do my stupid homework and grad plans and continue on. Tomorrow is Thursday...best day of the week.

this is good.

I've decided that my only option is to buy the book for my night class, skip class, do my homework and hand it in tomorrow. I suck at life.

nine hours later...

After two hours of productivity, I lost it. I took a nap. I went to my work meeting, and then I watched tv and ate soup, and watched more tv, went to walmart, watched tv and ate ice cream, and now i've wasted nearly an hour playing with my digital camera and ipod. what did people do to procrastinate before ipods and cameras? I think I played snood. It's time to hit the books.

i'm amazing.

i'm almost done with my grad plans. i haven't started my homework yet, but i'm almost done with my grad plans. i'm going to walk to my car and drop a couple of prelimary papers off at records on my way out. woohoo.

take two.

I'm ready to do this again, a little more earnestly than last week. It's monday, and though I hate mondays, I feel much better about things today than I have in quite a while. I've mourned the loss of my spring concert. There won't be one this year, and I'm okay with that. We'll just beef up the rest of our spring programming instead. It's time for me to catch myself up on my homework. I need to write a few essays, read some chapters, and start studying for my politics test. I am also ready to sit down and do my grad plans. I graduate in May. I think I've procrastinated with them long enough. I also need to finish the interviews for my senior project, write my senior project, and then do my honors defense and stuff. I need to work a little less, and spend a little less, and get more done. I don't know what I'm waiting for...I just keep finding other things to do instead. I'm considering the nanny opportunity more carefully...and I might move home for a week or two after graduation. Asher graduates the weekend after I do. It might be nice to see my family for a little while--I haven't spent more than a day or two at home at a time in two years.

My mom sent me an email today with the information to the Delay the Real World fellowship. You can get up to $3000 to support yourself while you do something other than work--an internship, volunteering, etc. I feel like I should know what my future could be before I decide whether I should delay it or not.

In other news, I'm exhausted. I've spent the past month putting together the coolest program of my college career only to have my agent call me yesterday have it all fall apart. Until then, I had the excitement of what was to come keeping me going. Now, I'm just overwhelmed. I'm behind on my homework. I don't have any time. I'm just crabby and really, really tired. I think maybe 45 hours is too many to be working, but I need the money, so I'll do it. I might take a nap this afternoon. I'm not telling anyone that my 4 o'clock class was cancelled. That's naptime for sure.

In addition to my exhaustion, Mandei (my former roommate) is coming tonight. So, while I actually have a night off, I won't be doing the things I should be doing...I'll be doing the things I really shouldn't. And tomorrow, there's a hockey game, so again, no homework. Saturday was my day off, but I've been offered the 12-close shift, which equals like $65, so I'd better do that.

*groan*

It seems that each day I'm more tired and farther behind than the last. I am going to have to spend my Saturday off (first in three months) at the library doing piles of homework that I just haven't gotten to. Today, I'm doing at least three hours of HUPB stuff to catch that up. Plus work at school. Plus we have a floorset at BBW. I can't wait for spring break...less than a month. Then a month and a half of school, a spring concert, a thesis defense, and then Black Friday. (May 12.)

options

The thing that really scares me is that I have so many options. Infinitely many, perhaps. I need to revise my resume. Then, I need to apply for jobs. But in addition to jobs that I need to apply for, I have other options. My aunt and uncle are going to need a nanny around GDay for their new twins (children #7&8). This seems like an okay idea, but I get stressed out by screaming kids at Bath and Body, so I'm not sure that 8 kids under 15 is the best idea for me. Oh, and it's in Seattle. Seattle is actually one of the things that job has working in its favor. I'm also going to apply for a position at a village in the Cascades. Good experience, but how weird would it be to be isolated--living 2hrs by boat from anywhere, without internet or cellphone. It's one of those things that I've been saying I should do, and probably should before I can't. If I get a job that starts in August, I could stay in Bemidji until then, which would be fun. My mom actually suggested moving home and working at the nursing home as a "not so bleak" option. Untrue. I won't move home. This isn't because I dislike my family or anything like that. They are hard to live with, so I guess that's part of it. Mostly, I don't want to move back there because I'd suffocate. Mountain, ND ranks as one of the most boring places to live in the world. Now that I've been exposed to "city life" (if you saw Mountain, Bemidji would be a city to you too.) I don't know that I can go back. I don't want to live in a place where I'll never meet new people. I don't want to be one of the people who moves back and works at the nursing home where we worked in high school. I just don't want to get stuck.

the beginning of the end.

This begins the project. I'll elaborate later, when it's not 9pm on a Saturday. Who does homework then? Not me. Ever.